Debbie Flint The Novelist

[Autumn]

Im not sure if anyone Knows but Debbie Skinflint has a Gazillion books out atm ( all available to download on Amazon) Shes incredibly shy about it so only mentions it 5 times per hour on Qvc, not forgetting her blog , twitter and FB. Poor soul.....:mysmilie_51:

Debbie will soon be appearing on Tv adverts, Just £1 a month helps a lady like her achieve her dream of writing yet another book :mysmilie_50:

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Her latest is about a shopping channel presenter. Perhaps this has been "inspired" by a saga which had occasional outings on this forum (oh how I miss those)

 

[Shopscot]

I think I heard her say that she was taking a week off to write another book. It's amazing - other authors take a year or even years to write a book....

 

[Autumn]

I think I heard her say that she was taking a week off to write another book. It's amazing - other authors take a year or even years to write a book....

But our Debbie goes for Quantity rather than Quality :cash:

 

[Julius]

But our Debbie goes for Quantity rather than Quality :cash:

You can say that again! Did you read her recent effort - "Honedew Mist?"

The ocean was as still as mill pool, the sun setting in a sky the colour of a pina colada, tangerine, flamingo pink with hues of gold glistening on the surface of the ocean. There were 350 people onboard the ship but they were the only two up on deck. Just him and her. Patricia and Clive. Her eyes sparkled like tanzanite stones as Clive looked at her with anticipation. Young looking for his age, Clive was raffishly handsome, his flaxen grey-blond hair was suave and dishevelled over his bronzed, craggy face that contrasted with his cool white linen shirt. His hand slid furtively under her sarong, the tips of his fingers caressing her left breast.
"Clive, you make me feel...."
"Alive?"
"This is heaven!"

And with that he took her, their tongues lashing together in an act that symbolised what they both had in mind for later. Her lips tasted like honeydew melon.
"Not here Clive!"
"Why not? There's nobody here. They're all at the Captain's table, sipping long cocktails."

There was a pause, and they both dissolved into helpless laughter. Patricia slipped on her Birkenstocks and got up from her sun lounger. Clive, sporting the nautical look slipped on his boat shoes and they made their way down to the cabin. Who'd have thought this would happen on the Saga Rose?

 

[Akimbo]

....and the award for the ugliest but shortest sentence in the new literature category goes to........



"Just him and her." :mysmilie_59:

 

[mossie269]

You mean people actually buy her books:mysmilie_19:

 

[Kathy]

Pass the sick bucket....

 

[miss molly]

Ohhh i am getting a tingling feeling ready that....i think i am going to be sick. It does nowt for me i would rather read a DIY book.

 

[thatu]

I'd rather read train timetables.

edit:
However, I think that we on this forum have a duty of care to miss f. Can anyone think of any other way she can advertise herself apart from "read my blog/tweet me/read my book/my book's name is/..." while we're paying for her time on air with our purchases? Oh, I forgot the obvious flint book on top of a pile of other books accidentally shown while she's on screen.
:mysmilie_50:

 

[Docswife]

What saga?

 

[Leighton Orient]

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt' a sarong go round your waist? What the **** was her left breast doing down there?!!!!! Can't understand why she didn't put the item numbers in after each plug either.

His hand slid furtively under her Michelle Hope sarong, the tips of his fingers snagging on the polyester fabric. 'Ouch' he winced, examining the skin the material had caught.
'Hang on a mo', said Patricia, as she pulled out her Leighton Denny Compact Manicure case, from her Kipling bag, brushing the monkey aside, and snipped off the offending skin. Taking a tube of L'Occitane 15% Shea Butter handcream, she applied a dab to Clive's fingers.
'That's nice' he said.
'Did you know, one of these is sold every 3 seconds around the World?' she asked, her Tanzanite eyes glimmering like Diamonique.

 

[Wornoutcreditcard]

I hope her written English is of a better standard than her verbal English. Because she sounds very common why would I buy a book written like that?

 

[Moth]

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt' a sarong go round your waist? What the **** was her left breast doing down there?!!!!! Can't understand why she didn't put the item numbers in after each plug either.

His hand slid furtively under her Michelle Hope sarong, the tips of his fingers snagging on the polyester fabric. 'Ouch' he winced, examining the skin the material had caught.
'Hang on a mo', said Patricia, as she pulled out her Leighton Denny Compact Manicure case, from her Kipling bag, brushing the monkey aside, and snipped off the offending skin. Taking a tube of L'Occitane 15% Shea Butter handcream, she applied a dab to Clive's fingers.
'That's nice' he said.
'Did you know, one of these is sold every 3 seconds around the World?' she asked, her Tanzanite eyes glimmering like Diamonique.

That's better than the original!!!

 

[Mazza]

Does she write books then?

:mysmilie_19:

 

[Julius]

I like that revised version full of plugs hahahahahahahaha! Even better than the orginal ehehehehe It's a great story! looool!

 

[thatu]

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesnt' a sarong go round your waist? What the **** was her left breast doing down there?!!!!!

Maybe it's her take on Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

[Julius]

I thought 50 Shades of Grey was Jan Springer's autobiography!

 

[Julius]

It's quite racy! Only a few pages later.....

The “do not disturb” sign was hung on the outer door handle and the door shut with a resounding clunk. Clive slipped off his boat shoes and grabbed Patricia by the waist. He then deftly unfastened his belt with his left hand whilst staring intently into Patricia’s eyes.

“Clive you make me feel so young again,” she said, in a breathy tone.

“Well 56 is not exactly old, and you are only as old as you feel, so feel what you feel, and you know what I want you to feel,” he said eagerly closing the physical distance between them in one split second.” “I want it so much,” he said, lunging at her, thinking unthinkable thoughts.

“I want to take it slow and sexy, like they do in the deep South.” “Would you care for a glass of Sheridan’s?” she enquired, picking up a small crystal glass and carefully measuring out the liquor, first the dark coffee part, then the white chocolate part from the other half of the bottle.

“What is that?” asked Clive, liqueurs being the last thing on his mind at that precise moment.

“It’s light and dark.” “It’s a drink of two sides.” “Just like me!”

“Mirage or Taboo? Which one are you?” he asked.

“Maybe you’ll get to….find out?”

She put down her glass on the bedside table and their lips interlocked, the action becoming more intense, more frenzied, like two piranhas biting on the flesh of a ripe nectarine. The heat of the evening sent heady wafts of dermarome oil perfuming the air, compounding his excitement.
Her mouth tasted of coffee and white chocolate liqueur. Now he just wanted to impale her.

 

[Mazza]

Impale her???? Is he a serial killer???????

Actually I thought Julius's first extract was a parody..... Are these seriously from her, and I use the term loosely, book??.

Also, what an odd reply to I want to take it slow and sexy...... Would you like a glass of Sheridan's?......... No? Would you like a cup of tea and a sweet biscuit???? I must stop this thread, am going a bit mad.