Are you my twin?!
I also have loads of sets as I panic buy at the thought of not being able to get something I love in the future. Like you, my problems with CH are:
Where to store when not on the bed? They're impossible to fold down to a manageable size unless I use one of those suck out bags.
How to keep them soft?
My first set have stayed softer than the second set, but they're a different kind of fleece. The first set pilled quite badly. The second/third sets have, as you've mentioned, developed a strange texture.
My newest set is the one I have higher hopes for. I'm only washing them in Woolite at low temperature, on a gentle cycle. This is where I miss my old cotton sets - I like to hot wash my bedding. I shower at night before bed and have a wool duvet and either wool or memory foam pillows and a memory foam mattress, so dust mites apparently won't be a problem as they can't live in these items. I'm still not totally comfortable on low temp bedding washing, though.
I've only ever line dried so I can't blame tumble drying and my older sets have only been washed at 30 degrees.
ETA: Both Aldi and Lidl sell heated throws, Aldi's are gorgeous, supremely soft. Both have a 3 year guarantee. My Lidl one went bang just before the 3 years, I rang them and they sent a new one out within days. They were both £30. I can't wait to see them in store again this year, though Lidl currently have a heated cape in store now.
Ha, you are my alter ego - that's why I named you this on the forum! You will never get away from me, mwahahahaha!
But seriously, the washing is quite a problem for me. I haven't tried Woolite but if you are getting good results, maybe I will give it a go. Like you, I prefer hotter washes but have been very careful always to wash Cozee Home stuff at 30 degrees.
And on that subject, the 30 degree wash cycle on my machine doesn't include a proper spin at the end so I have to re-spin it but it still seems quite wet when I've done that. Maybe my machine is past its best (see below). Also, I've tried tumble-drying and not tumble drying, instead hanging near a radiator, for example. But despite what people say about how fast they dry, personally a couple of times last winter, I struggled to get the duvet covers in particular dry - the seams, especially the fastening edges where the fabric is thicker, seemed to stay damp and on more than one occasion, I had to put things back in the wash because I got that horrible damp feet pong off them from being left not thoroughly dry. I didn't get this the year before - I think I need to update my washing machine and drier - they've served me well but I wonder if more modern ones would handle all this better.
Despite all that, I do still love CH!
Thanks for the tip about Aldi/Lidl heated throws.