Just tuned in to see Miceal Murphy, the lying little leprechaun, touting a Dyson cordless vac. They did a demo aimed at convincing us how cordless vacs are the future. They ran a VT of James Dyson crowing about how his company no longer makes cordless vacuum cleaners. His purported casting of cordless vacs into abyss of obsolescence was no doubt intended to impress and instil confidence in all us ordinary folk that cordless is the way to go.
But is it?
What happened next was hilarious. They did a side-by-side demo with the guest using the new cordless vac while M. Murphy used a corded Dyson. Together they stood, vacuuming their pre-prepared squares of carpet. Then a "LOL moment happened" for Murphy's vacuum performed PERFECTLY WELL, easily equalling the effectiveness of the cordless model....and then came the pitch change in the sound of the motor as MM put it on a lower setting!!! Then he hammed up the acting as he pretended that picking up a few coffee granules with a c. 2000w motor was so incredibly difficult and awkward, whilst the guest's new cordless vac (predictably) glided over the carpet with ease.
Just how f***ing STUPID do they think we are? Suddenly a new product comes out and the old one (once vaunted as the best thing since sliced bread) doesn't work anymore? Yeah RIGHT! It only paled in comparison once Murphy skewed the demonstration by reducing the power setting and bringing in his sh*t acting!
This got me thinking about cordless technology and it dawned on me just how crap it can be. I had a cordless kettle that would only work if I inserted a spoon between the kettle and the docking station it plugged into.
Then I got Bluetooth headphones. "Great! No wires!" I thought. But then every time I used them they slowed my wifi internet connection down from 38mbps to about 0.03, meaning I couldn't download or stream anything, and rendering them pointless.
Then I got a cordless iron which experience similar issues to the kettle. Then there's the whole wifi thing - it's not bad, but never as good as when it's plugged in with an ethernet cable.
This got me thinking about vacuum cleaners. Most people have power sockets in each room. Most vacuum cleaners have long power cords and flexible hoses (well my Henry vacuum does) and I can do the whole flat with it plugged in the one socket. One thing Dyson and QVC don't tell us is that lithium ion batteries degrade as they age and are pretty much dud after c. 500 recharges, and all that "power" they keep touting ain't there no more, as the battery loses its storage capacity. It's an inherent problem with lithium ion batteries, and of course Dyson doesn't mention this, because a year or two down the line he'll have developed some new, overhyped and overpriced twist on cordless vacuuming, which means yet ANOTHER product to sell!
I inherited my Henry vac from my mother and it's still every bit as good as it was when she bought it back in 1997!
Murphy's demo proved (if you were eagle-eyed enough to spot it) that corded vacs are perfectly fine. The only reason they're trying to tout cordless vacs is because it's a new product to sell, and some people want to have the latest tech.
Murphy's "demo" was amusing as he heaved the vacuum cleaner around with what looked like faux difficulty - but there and again maybe he really did find it difficult. I imagine I'd have difficulty maneuvering a vacuum cleaner were it almost as tall as me!
What are your experiences with cordless technology? Do you like it? Does it present any advantages?
But is it?
What happened next was hilarious. They did a side-by-side demo with the guest using the new cordless vac while M. Murphy used a corded Dyson. Together they stood, vacuuming their pre-prepared squares of carpet. Then a "LOL moment happened" for Murphy's vacuum performed PERFECTLY WELL, easily equalling the effectiveness of the cordless model....and then came the pitch change in the sound of the motor as MM put it on a lower setting!!! Then he hammed up the acting as he pretended that picking up a few coffee granules with a c. 2000w motor was so incredibly difficult and awkward, whilst the guest's new cordless vac (predictably) glided over the carpet with ease.
Just how f***ing STUPID do they think we are? Suddenly a new product comes out and the old one (once vaunted as the best thing since sliced bread) doesn't work anymore? Yeah RIGHT! It only paled in comparison once Murphy skewed the demonstration by reducing the power setting and bringing in his sh*t acting!
This got me thinking about cordless technology and it dawned on me just how crap it can be. I had a cordless kettle that would only work if I inserted a spoon between the kettle and the docking station it plugged into.
Then I got Bluetooth headphones. "Great! No wires!" I thought. But then every time I used them they slowed my wifi internet connection down from 38mbps to about 0.03, meaning I couldn't download or stream anything, and rendering them pointless.
Then I got a cordless iron which experience similar issues to the kettle. Then there's the whole wifi thing - it's not bad, but never as good as when it's plugged in with an ethernet cable.
This got me thinking about vacuum cleaners. Most people have power sockets in each room. Most vacuum cleaners have long power cords and flexible hoses (well my Henry vacuum does) and I can do the whole flat with it plugged in the one socket. One thing Dyson and QVC don't tell us is that lithium ion batteries degrade as they age and are pretty much dud after c. 500 recharges, and all that "power" they keep touting ain't there no more, as the battery loses its storage capacity. It's an inherent problem with lithium ion batteries, and of course Dyson doesn't mention this, because a year or two down the line he'll have developed some new, overhyped and overpriced twist on cordless vacuuming, which means yet ANOTHER product to sell!
I inherited my Henry vac from my mother and it's still every bit as good as it was when she bought it back in 1997!
Murphy's demo proved (if you were eagle-eyed enough to spot it) that corded vacs are perfectly fine. The only reason they're trying to tout cordless vacs is because it's a new product to sell, and some people want to have the latest tech.
Murphy's "demo" was amusing as he heaved the vacuum cleaner around with what looked like faux difficulty - but there and again maybe he really did find it difficult. I imagine I'd have difficulty maneuvering a vacuum cleaner were it almost as tall as me!
What are your experiences with cordless technology? Do you like it? Does it present any advantages?
Last edited: