100 Things I Have learned from QVC..

[Swansea girl]

Through QVC I've learnt that nothing can be too garish, leopard skin fabric is permanently ' in' and Mally makeup looks even better if presented by a brash New Yorker shouting at 100 decibels.

Ps. does anyone know where you would wear one of Quacker factory 'duster jackets'?
Answers on a post card please!

Quack Quack!

 

[AllThatGlitters]

I've learned that I'm often wrong in thinking that a garment makes the model look fat and deformed. The presenter puts me right by gasping "Doesn't Tiffadelia look FAB in that!" and I realise my taste is out of alignment yet again. Thanks, QVC.

 

[Starlight]

I have learnt today from Susan Graver that apparently we all have 'figure flaws' and should disguise them with yards of tacky polyester fabric with crude stitching and puckered hems in yukky lilac, mucky green or 'on trend' animal prints.

I can also watch a youtube video which will show me how to grab handfuls of this fabric and scrunch it up in elastic bands to make 'flowers' on her voluminous shapeless dress for a different look and I will look so great I could wear it to a spring wedding! :mysmilie_505:

 

[Gizzy]

I've also learned that
... in spite of their possibly endless variations, female bodies can always be compared to some piece of fruit.
... in spite of their possibly endless variations, men only ever have one body type.
... in spite of their possibly endless variations, human skin tones can be classed into one of four categories: fair, light, medium or dark.

 

[Swansea girl]

Has anyone got ear plugs i can borrow? Its Mally makeup on Qvc and that 100 decibel New Yorker is blasting my ears with her makeup collection.
Ive learnt today
(1)Lipsick can be' juicy'
(2) mascara can be 'bullet proof'
(3) Mally makeup in general can literally 'change your life'
and I wouldn't dare argue with her...

And if she says 'you got it mama' everytime the qvc presenter backs her up I am gonna shoot myself..

 

[silversequin]

I have learnt that there is some mysterious process that changes the weight of an item as demonstrated by someting that comes from QVC costs upwards of £3 to come to my home but only seems to cost a quid to return it.

 

[silversequin]

I have learnt that owning 300 Kipling bags is not a sign of illness but something to boast about to a presenter and then have said presenter "congratulate" you rather than ask you a) where the hell do you keep them all and b) when are you ever going to actually use them.

 

[Swansea girl]

I have learnt that owning 300 Kipling bags is not a sign of illness but something to boast about to a presenter and then have said presenter "congratulate" you rather than ask you a) where the hell do you keep them all and b) when are you ever going to actually use them.

c) and exactly how near bancrupcy are you? ( as they take you away to the funny farm leaving your kipling handbag mountain behind)

 

[HoodedClaw]

That Charlie "Shades of Grey" Brook is quite possibly Nytol in human form...

 

[silversequin]

I am in the process of learning now with the "Cashmasoft" programme on and here is the wisdom I am gaining: flimsy tatty garments that would not be out of place on a market stall are actually as good as cashmere and I have also got a new word for my vocabulary "clingage" yes ladies Cashmasoft garments apperently do not have "clingage" guess this is due to their "fabrication" . I am also learning that the clothes look "expensive". Silly me I have got it all wrong thought they were expensive and looked cheap!

 

[Swansea girl]

Am I the only person who thinks 'Lola Rose' jewellry looks plastic...

 

[boffy]

some of the carved dyed agate do but not the whole range which is vast.

 

[greatgable]

QVC have their finger on the current fashion scene

Ladies who buy Michelle Hope fashion can wear her creations at Royal Ascot.

 

[HoodedClaw]

QVC have their finger on the current fashion scene

Ladies who buy Michelle Hope fashion can wear her creations at Royal Ascot.

In a home for the terminally bewildered, more like.

Teamed with a Dreamweaver crocheted monstrosity and an Eek knuckleduster ("So believable!")

 

[Cariad]

I've just spent an enjoyable hour laughing til my ribs hurt at this thread. Read it from the beginning folks - it's brilliant therapy ha ha thank you all who posted here

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I have discovered that if you really want to you can virtually (!) stop buying if you don't watch. I have become so annoyed at presenters, P&p, stretching the truth, days and days of the same beauty items, that I hardly ever watch anymore and it is saving a fortune as I was a real Q spendaholic. Just need to stop looking elsewhere too!

 

[Boris Bear]

I have discovered that if you really want to you can virtually (!) stop buying if you don't watch.

I buy very little even though I do watch. I went into my account yesterday to check when the next Yankee AD will come and found that this year I have had two drops of the Yankee AD, some Calico Cottage fudge and a Kipling bag that I returned so my spend is just over £100.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

As it is my birthday and anniversary in the next few weeks so I choose a couple of pieces of Bronzo Itailia and a Honora bracelet which I have wanted for years and which suddenly appeared in clearance at a whopping reduction and got my husband to consider them as his pressies. See, I still haven't purchased anything!

 

[May]

:mysmilie_14: great thread

1. If im a presenter and talk to viewers like they have pre-senile dementia...then I will defo get my commission :mysmilie_59:

 

[CallMeQ]

I've learnt that everyone goes straight from the office to a restaurant/party etc...
I've also learnt that fashion means spending lots of money on thin fabric and wearing things that are not ironed (yong kim)