Northernlights
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That I am out of touch with who is a celebrity these days (never heard of the glamourous celebs pictured 'wearing' Charlie lapson bags this afternoon.:mysmilie_12
100 Things I Have learned from QVC..
- Thread starter alan6012
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Huggles
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1. That every QVC viewer is married with children at school/university.
2. Every QVC viewer has a conservatory that requires ambient lighting.
3. Every QVC viewer can 'snap up' items and 'jump to the phone' at will as they have a bottomless pit of money.
4. Every QVC viewer requires a dog so they can wear some hideous fashion while out walking said creature before the 'school run'...(do children ever walk to school these days?).
5. Every QVC viewer likes to craft and requires multitudes of 'stock' as their creations will be so unique and original they will become family heirlooms and not become landfill for already cluttered over stuffed households full of keepsakes and memorabelia.
6. QVC presenters will say anything to make items 'fly out the building'.
7. QVC presenters earn £100K plus for their skill and presentation ability to make a pile of old tat appear like it is the most desirable, aspirational object in the world.
8. QVC T-callers are lonely, ill, desperate individuals who are either obsessed with the item or presenter and don't know when they're not wanted when their ramblings become off topic...which is how wonderful QVC is for new customers not sure whether to order or not.
9. There is a 'no quibble' returns policy...provided the 'quibble' doesn't exceed 50% of purchases.
10. Postage and packing is extortionate...and that is how QVC makes so much money, not because it can drive down prices with it's huge ordering power.
(Great thread...so glad I got that off my chest :mysmilie_696
2. Every QVC viewer has a conservatory that requires ambient lighting.
3. Every QVC viewer can 'snap up' items and 'jump to the phone' at will as they have a bottomless pit of money.
4. Every QVC viewer requires a dog so they can wear some hideous fashion while out walking said creature before the 'school run'...(do children ever walk to school these days?).
5. Every QVC viewer likes to craft and requires multitudes of 'stock' as their creations will be so unique and original they will become family heirlooms and not become landfill for already cluttered over stuffed households full of keepsakes and memorabelia.
6. QVC presenters will say anything to make items 'fly out the building'.
7. QVC presenters earn £100K plus for their skill and presentation ability to make a pile of old tat appear like it is the most desirable, aspirational object in the world.
8. QVC T-callers are lonely, ill, desperate individuals who are either obsessed with the item or presenter and don't know when they're not wanted when their ramblings become off topic...which is how wonderful QVC is for new customers not sure whether to order or not.
9. There is a 'no quibble' returns policy...provided the 'quibble' doesn't exceed 50% of purchases.
10. Postage and packing is extortionate...and that is how QVC makes so much money, not because it can drive down prices with it's huge ordering power.
(Great thread...so glad I got that off my chest :mysmilie_696
Mibbette
Registered Shopper
C
Capirossi
Guest Shopper
I am so ecstatically happy to have learnt...:
11) the phrase "dress it up or dress it down" can apply to everything, from earrings to a pencil case
12) that every item of clothing will take you into spring/summer
13) that I simply must have the illuminated tiffany frog lamp to create a talking piece in my study
14) that all QVC presenters are living in cloud cuckoo land assuming their viewers have all these bathrooms/guest rooms/studies/hundreds of people to buy gifts for
15) that if the lovely Julia Roberts is a size small then I must be anorexic and should stop stressing about my weight
16) that if Jilly is 'QVC's answer to Yasmin Le Bon' then I must be Catherine Zeta Jones and should quit worrying what I look like
17) that all women are incredibly girlie girls who should coo over little earrings and pieces of plastic tat with London busses on
18) that all women 'get the girls round' for a beauty evening
19) that shift workers need extra special beauty products and routines
20) and finally....to shop for the 'one time only exclusive to QVC won't find it anywhere else in the universe at these prices' on EBay and other sites for a fraction of the cost and free p & p - so for that QVC, :mysmilie_687: :mysmilie_697:
11) the phrase "dress it up or dress it down" can apply to everything, from earrings to a pencil case
12) that every item of clothing will take you into spring/summer
13) that I simply must have the illuminated tiffany frog lamp to create a talking piece in my study
14) that all QVC presenters are living in cloud cuckoo land assuming their viewers have all these bathrooms/guest rooms/studies/hundreds of people to buy gifts for
15) that if the lovely Julia Roberts is a size small then I must be anorexic and should stop stressing about my weight
16) that if Jilly is 'QVC's answer to Yasmin Le Bon' then I must be Catherine Zeta Jones and should quit worrying what I look like
17) that all women are incredibly girlie girls who should coo over little earrings and pieces of plastic tat with London busses on
18) that all women 'get the girls round' for a beauty evening
19) that shift workers need extra special beauty products and routines
20) and finally....to shop for the 'one time only exclusive to QVC won't find it anywhere else in the universe at these prices' on EBay and other sites for a fraction of the cost and free p & p - so for that QVC, :mysmilie_687: :mysmilie_697:
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S
star234
Guest Shopper
I have laughed so hard at these posts that I have actually dropped a glass of red wine on the floor rather then put it on the table.
Shame on you people! Passing the bug here!
OFF to clean up now
Shame on you people! Passing the bug here!
OFF to clean up now
Have to agree - im in kinks here! Special mention to cavegirl, lemonsqueezy and caparossi!!
Swankypants
Registered Shopper
Too right star234 - threads like these are as dangerous as an Actifry! [see IW] I have to clear my computer desk before reading.
The one thing I have learned from QVC is that, as a male, I am only interested in things with plugs on. TV's, camera's and camcorders.
The one thing I have learned from QVC is that, as a male, I am only interested in things with plugs on. TV's, camera's and camcorders.
les fritos
Registered Shopper
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- Aug 20, 2008
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I learned that:
I should call right away so that i dont miss out and beat myself up later
having made one of the biggest mistakes of my life for letting 'x' product pass me by when i knew foolishly all along that i wanted it but was too slow/ lazy /of unsound mind and as punishment would never recover from my loss.
That i should always believe the lovely presenter Dale who says 'trust me' on every flippin product he flogs.
I learned that Diamonique set in sterling silver is quite obviously better than any other jewellery option in the whole world except maybe the platinum clad or real gold settings-
depending on the state of the economy and viewer demographic that particular week
I learned that i could order boxes and boxes of thornton chocolates take a bite out of them all and send back for a full refund - what? oh yes but now on the QVC naughty step (list)as punishment
I learned that whatever facecream/ miracle set they are flogging this week i am still better looking than anne dawson (only just though)
I learned that paying £30 for a few bars of soap every few months is the road to ruin
I learned that Blueberry Quartz, Russian diopside and Royal cognac diamonds are just marketing names for basically a stone out of the ground
I learned that kim and co slinky doesnt make me slinky just makes my pot belly look more obvious
I learned to watch with the sound off and my credit card balance is much healthier as a result
I should call right away so that i dont miss out and beat myself up later
having made one of the biggest mistakes of my life for letting 'x' product pass me by when i knew foolishly all along that i wanted it but was too slow/ lazy /of unsound mind and as punishment would never recover from my loss.
That i should always believe the lovely presenter Dale who says 'trust me' on every flippin product he flogs.
I learned that Diamonique set in sterling silver is quite obviously better than any other jewellery option in the whole world except maybe the platinum clad or real gold settings-
depending on the state of the economy and viewer demographic that particular week
I learned that i could order boxes and boxes of thornton chocolates take a bite out of them all and send back for a full refund - what? oh yes but now on the QVC naughty step (list)as punishment
I learned that whatever facecream/ miracle set they are flogging this week i am still better looking than anne dawson (only just though)
I learned that paying £30 for a few bars of soap every few months is the road to ruin
I learned that Blueberry Quartz, Russian diopside and Royal cognac diamonds are just marketing names for basically a stone out of the ground
I learned that kim and co slinky doesnt make me slinky just makes my pot belly look more obvious
I learned to watch with the sound off and my credit card balance is much healthier as a result
lizdelassa
Registered Shopper
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- Oct 25, 2009
- Messages
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I've learnt:
1) That I'm not the only mug who buys jewellery in bulk
2) That the best way to buy from QVC is not easypay but clearance especially last clicks
3) Never to trust someone who lies about their size
4) To get on TV you need to be a brash fisherwife who will do anything for money
5) It's best to tape the programmes and watch them later on fast forward because it works like a charm in shutting the presenters up
6) Those really awful presenters who scream like banshees always get their own way, makes you wonder AY
7) You don't have to be beautiful to work at QVC - and it shows AD
:mysmilie_12:
1) That I'm not the only mug who buys jewellery in bulk
2) That the best way to buy from QVC is not easypay but clearance especially last clicks
3) Never to trust someone who lies about their size
4) To get on TV you need to be a brash fisherwife who will do anything for money
5) It's best to tape the programmes and watch them later on fast forward because it works like a charm in shutting the presenters up
6) Those really awful presenters who scream like banshees always get their own way, makes you wonder AY
7) You don't have to be beautiful to work at QVC - and it shows AD
:mysmilie_12:
scaryspice
Registered Shopper
I learned that I need to purchase at least 4 lip lifts, or hand creams; one for my beside table, one in my gym bag, one in the glove compartment of my car, one in the downstairs loo, one in my drawer at work, but if I purchase these all at the same time and to the same address, I will only get one of them at half the usual p&p, (Whereas I would like to bet if they were all placed in the same box the p&p would actually work out at about the same price.
Love A'kin
QualityVariesConsiderably
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- Jun 14, 2009
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Genius thread! I have been chuckling away like a loon.
I have learned that....
...A lifetime in the Beauty Industry is no protection against the ravages of time and the ageing process for you.
...Mineral oil, perfume, silicones PEGs and "chemicals" are only bad for you in "high street" products. If they're in a QVC Beauty Brand along with a sprinkling of something botanical then I shouldn't worry my pretty little head about them.
....Collagen is pink goo, Echinacea is Green goo, Cotton is white goo, and Lavender is bright purple goo.
...QVC don't mention the 30 day moneyback guarantee often enough! Some QVC customers are unaware of it and post reviews saying that things "went straight in the bin" and bemoaning the waste of money involved.
...Some QVC models, guests and presenters don't have much faith in the anti-ageing products they are flogging and have taken the cosmetic surgery route instead.
..."bran new" is a whole new category of new that I never knew existed. I've even seen people use it on eBay.
...You can't please everybody! 1 star and 5 star reviews on the same item is normal.
I have learned that....
...A lifetime in the Beauty Industry is no protection against the ravages of time and the ageing process for you.
...Mineral oil, perfume, silicones PEGs and "chemicals" are only bad for you in "high street" products. If they're in a QVC Beauty Brand along with a sprinkling of something botanical then I shouldn't worry my pretty little head about them.
....Collagen is pink goo, Echinacea is Green goo, Cotton is white goo, and Lavender is bright purple goo.
...QVC don't mention the 30 day moneyback guarantee often enough! Some QVC customers are unaware of it and post reviews saying that things "went straight in the bin" and bemoaning the waste of money involved.
...Some QVC models, guests and presenters don't have much faith in the anti-ageing products they are flogging and have taken the cosmetic surgery route instead.
..."bran new" is a whole new category of new that I never knew existed. I've even seen people use it on eBay.
...You can't please everybody! 1 star and 5 star reviews on the same item is normal.
Cavegirl :
7.) That I do not have a 'Guest Room' to prepare for anyone. And if I did, I would not fill it full of feather beds, matress protectors, throws, shams and slankets. I would do what every other person in this country does with their spare room. Use it to store cardboard boxes full of carp and bits from an old motorbike.
This made me ROAR with laughter !!!!!!!!! (Think you've probably been round my place whilst I've been out posting QVC returns !!!)
Thank you Cavegirl X
7.) That I do not have a 'Guest Room' to prepare for anyone. And if I did, I would not fill it full of feather beds, matress protectors, throws, shams and slankets. I would do what every other person in this country does with their spare room. Use it to store cardboard boxes full of carp and bits from an old motorbike.
This made me ROAR with laughter !!!!!!!!! (Think you've probably been round my place whilst I've been out posting QVC returns !!!)
Thank you Cavegirl X
I have learned
That you don't need to buy any fitness equipment to use when you are watching QVC because if you buy enough of the bran new things, you will lose tons of weight will all the jumping to the phone....has to be like skipping!!!!:mysmilie_697:
That you don't need to buy any fitness equipment to use when you are watching QVC because if you buy enough of the bran new things, you will lose tons of weight will all the jumping to the phone....has to be like skipping!!!!:mysmilie_697:
Lemonsqueezy
Nice 'n Easy...
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2008
- Messages
- 1,412
that we are supposed to be convinced that a model born in the 1940's was given the birth name Tiffany.
That you can still be a model with hair like playmobil figure.
that elemis,decleor and gatineau..the big three brands don't actually work as none of the presenters look any more dewy/plump//less wrinkly than us mere mortals
That genie makes you look like you've been in a wind tunnel for 5 minutes....then everything drops again!
That Amica loves everything about everything
That Charlie Brook could talk a glass eye to sleep:mysmilie_61:
That you can still be a model with hair like playmobil figure.
that elemis,decleor and gatineau..the big three brands don't actually work as none of the presenters look any more dewy/plump//less wrinkly than us mere mortals
That genie makes you look like you've been in a wind tunnel for 5 minutes....then everything drops again!
That Amica loves everything about everything
That Charlie Brook could talk a glass eye to sleep:mysmilie_61:
Fantastic thread!
And I've learned a lot
1. I'll be able to fool everybody that I can suddenly afford to festoon myself with 2 carat diamond jewellery 'cause nobody (not even an expert) could tell I'm wearing diamoneek!
2. My Indigo Moon jacket/matching trouser set in orange and purple will be a talking point (behind my back!)
3.A NN matching duvet set in my bedroom will quadruple the value of my house!
4. An expensive handbag will turn me into a "yummy mummy"
5. I can club together with the neighbours to buy a pressure washer
6. QVC packages can be found in the strangest of places...sheds, hedges, dustbins!
7. It costs £6 to deliver a lipstick
8. Supermarkets are Satan's earthly home.
9. I can send anything I don't want/like back as many times as I like with no quibble whatsover as long as I don't do it more than once!
10. A cheapo silver necklace, a pot of ineffective skincream, and a wishy washy eyeshadow set is a rite of passage for your just turned teenage daughter!
And I've learned a lot
1. I'll be able to fool everybody that I can suddenly afford to festoon myself with 2 carat diamond jewellery 'cause nobody (not even an expert) could tell I'm wearing diamoneek!
2. My Indigo Moon jacket/matching trouser set in orange and purple will be a talking point (behind my back!)
3.A NN matching duvet set in my bedroom will quadruple the value of my house!
4. An expensive handbag will turn me into a "yummy mummy"
5. I can club together with the neighbours to buy a pressure washer
6. QVC packages can be found in the strangest of places...sheds, hedges, dustbins!
7. It costs £6 to deliver a lipstick
8. Supermarkets are Satan's earthly home.
9. I can send anything I don't want/like back as many times as I like with no quibble whatsover as long as I don't do it more than once!
10. A cheapo silver necklace, a pot of ineffective skincream, and a wishy washy eyeshadow set is a rite of passage for your just turned teenage daughter!
Artemis
I'm a Kitchen Aid Maid!
* collapses *....soooooo wickedly true,LS, she's never had a different style either, has she, it can't be 'on trend' forever, surely...:mysmilie_17:
Almerinda
Registered Shopper
Cavegirl is a hoot!! I still haven't forgotten that fantastic post about Janette Krankie and intend to print it out, pout it in my bag and carry ti around with me for when I feel low.
Almerinda
Registered Shopper
That I am out of touch with who is a celebrity these days (never heard of the glamourous celebs pictured 'wearing' Charlie lapson bags this afternoon.:mysmilie_12
Nor me! Just goes to show how absolutely ridiculous the whole thing is. Once upon a time Bianca Jagger was the only person who was famous for being famous. Now we are inundated with them.
I do like some of the bags though. Couldn't justify buying one at the price they are but at least they seem to made of quality materials rather than PVC. I also find Charlie Lapson quite soothing.
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