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Ode to Autumn - one of the poems I studied for 'O level English Literature. I can remember the first verse, but not the rest. We had to learn six Keats poems.

Pedro's offerings this morning - collagen, walking canes, security light, power bank and the blankets he spent an hour on last night. No point watching, seen it all before. Tonight Mike has some sort of jewelled vintage telephone, and a vintage car, Christmas gifts they say, heap of crappy tat I...

Always thought he was a dickhead. 🤣🤣

Ghastly lumber cushions. Surely it should be lumbar, unless they are meant for the wood cutting market. 🤣

One for him, one for Bet, his house boy or Josh the Labrador. Maybe he shares one bed if he's feeling amorous. 😜 Just had another thought, maybe when his bed becomes wringing wet with his night sweats, he's got a spare to get in to.

He comes driving onto the set in his clown car, and the door falls off. 🤣

Gammon BS, one of the best fragrance houses in the world. The set of 4 sells for £300. He seems very aggressive tonight, must be the collagen overdose. 😜

Is there any proof that collagen actually works? Pedro says he takes four capsules every night.

Calling it leatherette makes it sound more desirable, first layer plastic doesn't quite have the same ring to it. 🤣🤣

Pedro's opening monologue - I went to see Dr Lobitov, and he told me to take all my clothes off. Where shall I put them asks Pedro? Put them on top of mine says Lobitov! He must have been told off through his earpiece, as he looked sheepish, and changed the subject quickly.

I always remember Martyn as being very clumsy, imagine him and chef Mark in the same room. An accident waiting to happen!

Brought at this price courtesy of Jean Paul at Duchumps. 🤣🤣🤣 Can't understand why they haven't sold out.

Duchump didn't need to give them such a big discount he says. I wish potential buyers would look at Duchumps website, where they will receive a much better discount than IW are offering. They must know we are onto them, yet they keep trotting out the same old claptrap.

He said he paid more for a towel than they are charging for the rug, and it wasn't even a big one, just a bath sheet. Bath sheets are the biggest towel you fool. He will spout any old crap to make a sale.

He's just said all the money people spend on cosmetic treatments, you could benefit from this pillar. What about your daily collagen and your facial work Pedro? Are you saying it's all a waste of money? Total bell end.

£80 for a "pillar"! You get until January to send it back says Pedro. No mention of not removing the packaging, or laying your head on it.

Pedro claims the Dubai air fresheners were being sold for £29.99 each! I must have missed that show, I'm sure they started off at £9.99.

Pedro on, but the picture is unwatchable. He's got collagen, foot detox patches and the walking canes. Starting off with the ****** batteries. Why bother, same old crap over and over again. Picture is pixelating like crazy.

Five minutes into today's greed fest, and Peters is stuffing his face with the meat from Althams butchers hamper. You will have to order today he says, it won't be back again. I remember him saying this last year, and every show up to late November they had it for sale.

Aka his catflap or back door 🤣🤣