Random musings and general banter.

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I remember the perfume “squirters” in Department stores. Never gave you a choice but just sprayed it on you. I hasten to add not the well known perfumiers. The worse one was a rose perfume that was awful. I was in Selfridges and got caught by them, I stunk to high heaven! Wasn’t popular on the bus going back to work or my colleagues. Soon as I got home clothes straight in the washing machine and me in the shower. Used to use the side entrance through their food department after that thus avoiding the perfume department.

Thank the gods Gammon and Greed won't ever grace retail stores.

"DEAR GOD DERECK, HAS THE SEPTIC TANK SPLIT??"

No, love. I went to the department store for your elastic girdle, and the lady there sprayed me with Gammon. Said all the bloke are wearing it. I'd have said no but I was a deer in the headlights, love, her forehead was that shiny…"
 
Why would be not pay £19.99 and update the watch that cost 20 times more - if the IW one is so much better!

Haha, he says he's still paying for his - maybe he's to cough up the second of two flexis 😆

More utter codswallop
 
More of the 'I'm a mug' routine because I paid £400 for a quality item (that's if the watch on his left wrist is not a prop) and didn't buy a 20 quid one. It doesn't wash. Presenters buy expensive for good reason. They want quality, reliability and accuracy. Things you are unlikely to find in a £19.99 watch.
 
Talking of not making it inside the building…We asked to use the BBC staff restaurant while on a BTP organised London Transport safety course at White City. The security guard let the two of us in, and there we were, sitting near the likes of Richard Baker, Sue Lawley (by The Police) etc..Being flash, we both tried our luck on the second day of the course, taking two young WPCs with us to impress them. The same security guard refused to let us in a second time. I can feel the humiliation still - 40 plus years later!!
Did you ever see Nick Ross? or Sue Cook? That would have been hilarious
 
More of the 'I'm a mug' routine because I paid £400 for a quality item (that's if the watch on his left wrist is not a prop) and didn't buy a 20 quid one. It doesn't wash. Presenters buy expensive for good reason. They want quality, reliability and accuracy. Things you are unlikely to find in a £19.99 watch.

"Oh viewer, I'm such a MORON, what a SILLY PERSON I am, buying a BRANDED ITEM, that WORKS AS ADVERTISED and is BACKED BY A WARRANTY, and receives on-going software support for 6 years from a trillion-dollar tech company. My one only has MEDICALLY CERTIFIED ECG the NHS trust readings from, but you lucky thing, you won't need to worry about that. Plus, unlike my BRANDED ONE yours will count extra steps when you're sat down! Amazing. Mine doesn't have that feature. Mine won't even STOP WORKING within the year. Yours will, you lucky viewer. How clever are you! If I was clever, I'd buy one of these, sell my £400 BRANDED one and pocket the cash but I won't, lucky viewer, as I wouldn't deprive you of this Future Landfill item. AV A BUY"
 
I bought the Huawei D Blood Pressure watch. A cuff is incorporated as part of the watch to mirror taking blood pressure in a similar vein (pardon the pun) as a dedicated blood pressure reader. It was about £400 initially but can picked up for around £250 these days online. As it goes, I rarely if ever wear it these days, as constantly checking my heartbeat and my blood pressure was making my heart race and my blood pressure sky rocket. Essentially, I’d rather not know I’m about to implode and expire these days.

What Edwards was raving on about so cynically last night is a 20 quid product. It is a £20 watch for a reason as Herring so eloquently expanded upon. If you want to own a smart watch that actually accurately measures key health aspects, fitness activities in general, doesn’t count as 2000 steps a three chord strum of Wonderwall, and coming with long-term product support, £20, unfortunately, ain’t going to cut it. Presenters like Jeremy Edwards, who appear to think they are smart enough to soft soap the gullible by portraying themselves as ‘fools’ for ‘ridiculously’ (silly them) buying quality over bargain bucketness, are far from that. They pay more for good reason. They probably vacuum their homes with a Dyson and not a £40 unbranded one. They probably have underfloor heating and not a fan heater. They probably go for air conditioning over a fan blowing recirculated hot air around a room. They choose an AGA over an air fryer…These abject fools get paid handsomely enough to get the power of choice over necessity. The real ‘fools’ and target audience they think are watching and convincing, don’t have that luxury in general. They have to buy the cheap crap and not through choice. Edwards’s job and others is to dress up being hard-up and limited for choice as a positive lifestyle choice over people like him - taking the ludicrous path in life of buying the best on a regular basis. Oh the grand hypocrisy of it all.
 
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How did the Kevski-Yiannis summit go?

How many of the 8 limited edition Vostoks actually sold by the end?

I tuned out after watching Yiannis fail the intelligence test of changing the spring lock watch straps which a 2 year old could do in a few seconds. Kevski found this amusing.

Desperate stuff.
 
A particularly cynical and made-up gushing text purporting to be from our Hammy (who along with the Professor, knows more about watches than those grubby little rockers put together). Essentially saying how wonderful it was to have Vostok Europe back on Ideal World and how much Kevin knows about watches. Now those cunning stunts would be funny if it wasn’t such a group of disingenuous, juvenile little s…heels faking them. As has been said before- there is almost a ‘We are watching you’ vibe to them. Stalking in a sense. Perhaps Reynolds wasn’t in on the ‘gag’? If he was - I thought he was a better person than that to go with it.
 
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I seem to have the knack of hopping on to IW for literally 90 secs tops, and most of the time during those brief seconds I catch something that makes me laugh (not in a funny way) or think 'eh?!?'

Last night this happened during the Vostok watch show. Yiannis says 'when have you EVER seen a watch design like this?!?' Kevin then says it's a bullhead design, when Googled you realise they're actually not uncommon ...

I also caught a bit where Kevin said 'you'll be out, for example in a restaurant, and I guarantee someone will come up to you and say 'nice watch' and that will kick off a conversation about it.'

How often do we reckon this has actually happened?!? I'd want left in peace to finish my prawn cocktail!!!

It does nothing but reiterate the type of person they're targeting ...
 
I seem to have the knack of hopping on to IW for literally 90 secs tops, and most of the time during those brief seconds I catch something that makes me laugh (not in a funny way) or think 'eh?!?'

Last night this happened during the Vostok watch show. Yiannis says 'when have you EVER seen a watch design like this?!?' Kevin then says it's a bullhead design, when Googled you realise they're actually not uncommon ...

I also caught a bit where Kevin said 'you'll be out, for example in a restaurant, and I guarantee someone will come up to you and say 'nice watch' and that will kick off a conversation about it.'

How often do we reckon this has actually happened?!? I'd want left in peace to finish my prawn cocktail!!!

It does nothing but reiterate the type of person they're targeting ...
Only if you have a subtle bacon perfume on to go with your incredibly fascinating timepiece.
 

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