Random musings and general banter.

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Now it is Kwai Chang Caine Varney covered in wooden fragrances of £19.99 smoke, supported by the man who looks a post puberty version of Twizzle. Slow January? Run out of cheap watches? Poundland stock surplus??
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
Now it is Kwai Chang Caine Varney covered in wooden fragrances of £19.99 smoke, supported by the man who looks a post puberty version of Twizzle. Slow January? Run out of cheap watches? Poundland stock surplus??
Click to expand...
Twizzle the battery boy?
Crikey - I thought I might be the only one left who still remembered….
 
324070EF-5BF6-4AB9-B55B-3BF6FCC489F6.jpeg
 
Now one thing that really turns my stomachs, is presenters theatrically and at times hysterically trying to order items they are presenting to be sold on air. That out of work actress lady was at it this morning as I was cleaning up a major dog accident on the kitchen floor this morning. As I was drowning in diarrhoea she added in several table spoons of her own verbal version, selling some glittering monstrosity of a sparkling awning/blouse. Probably old stock from either Richard Shops or an indoor tent return from Billy Smart’s Circus. Now I am fairly sure she wouldn’t be seen laid out in it on the slab at Co-Op Funeral Care, but she was literally creaming a large doughnut in her faux desperation to order the wretched thing. She even got her bloody phone out to try and complete her fantasy purchase online. “Oh No…” she gushed…”I‘ve forgotten my PIN number…” Do you think I sailed down Niagara Falls on a sixpence?? A really lousy and shouldn’t be allowed sales tactic of the order of the gutter. In fairness, it’s not just her doing it - they all do it virtually and not just on IW. You wonder why the Ars…Standards Agency aren’t on to them over it. But of course, they don’t have any - least, any they want to enforce.
 
You paint a very pretty picture!!

What annoys me about the ASA is the recent advertising campaign where they were explaining how adverts have to be truthful or else they will have to suffer the consequences of the Feds knocking their door down at 5am to arrest them (slight exaggeration but you get the picture). Whenever that ad was on I would shout at the telly "what about shopping channels, they can say what they like".

Yes, I'm at the stage of shouting at the TV, it's all downhill from now on...
 
Muttley said:
You paint a very pretty picture!!

What annoys me about the ASA is the recent advertising campaign where they were explaining how adverts have to be truthful or else they will have to suffer the consequences of the Feds knocking their door down at 5am to arrest them (slight exaggeration but you get the picture). Whenever that ad was on I would shout at the telly "what about shopping channels, they can say what they like".

Yes, I'm at the stage of shouting at the TV, it's all downhill from now on...
Click to expand...
Having tried to make what I thought to make some very valid complaints about shopping television in general some years back now - they first halfheartedly investigated a couple. Then, when made aware the same issues were being repeated, they gave up even replying with an outcome - or lack of one. A complete bunch of hapless wasters - on a good day. Queuing passionately with attitude and fire in their bellies for the last stale custard cream on the 1979 office tea trolley is probably the height of their staff’s up for a fight and resolute commitment to enforcing moral justice. No wonder presenters know they can pretty much say what they like without any serious repercussion whatsoever.
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
Having tried to make what I thought to make some very valid complaints about shopping television in general some years back now - they first halfheartedly investigated a couple. Then, when made aware the same issues were being repeated, they gave up even replying with an outcome - or lack of one. A complete bunch of hapless wasters - on a good day. Queuing passionately with attitude and fire in their bellies for the last stale custard cream on the 1979 office tea trolley is probably the height of their staff’s up for a fight and resolute commitment to enforcing moral justice. No wonder presenters know they can pretty much say what they like without any serious repercussion whatsoever.
Click to expand...
My one and only submission was when Peter Simon blatantly lied and said that a cheap perfume company called Laurelle had a shop in Regent Street. As a Londoner I knew this wasn't true. They used the address, along with hundreds of others as an accommodation address to try to impress people. ASA's response was we'll do nothing, give words of advice, tell him not to do it again blah blah. Yeah that worked cos he never lies these days. Your experience with them is really bad.
 
Treadmill January time. Hoping to do business on all our new year insecurities that for me and others last until Twelfth Night. The incredibly annoying woman with the ironed on grin and verbal imprint of the word before the next word being SUPER…is grinning away, superizing every sentence (she should be doing ten years in Holloway for crimes against presenting). Every scaremongering technique in the book - slippery pavements, your stick could slide, axe murderers behind trees, plutonium unexploded bombs to trip over…Her mum loves this treadmill, apparently. This treadmill? Didn’t she love the previous model, too? Two treadmills perhaps? “Do you know..this treadmill is SUPER space saving,“she oleaginates (er..)…”It is SUPER narrower than my ironing board,” she gushes..Really?? Who do you do your ironing for - 2 Para? Takes up less space than an ironing board - what a load of billhooks.
 
Muttley said:
You paint a very pretty picture!!

What annoys me about the ASA is the recent advertising campaign where they were explaining how adverts have to be truthful or else they will have to suffer the consequences of the Feds knocking their door down at 5am to arrest them (slight exaggeration but you get the picture). Whenever that ad was on I would shout at the telly "what about shopping channels, they can say what they like".

Yes, I'm at the stage of shouting at the TV, it's all downhill from now on...
Click to expand...

You really need to try and watch something else, as in the next stage you'll end up doing some serious damage to your TV. ;):ROFLMAO:
 
The new watches at IW - air fryers. They’ve gone from telling us they’ve found one to sell when there are none, to literally bombarding us with the damn things. Different makes, models, types, styles, designs…You have them on Ideal World. Amazing where they get them all from as according to the presenters, you can’t find them elsewhere for love nor money. They just can’t focus on one or two brands only, can they? It always has to be at least 20 plus.. Eeew…now the fat man with the glasses and My Name is Den, aged 90, are showing something they allege is walnut paste that was very similar to what hit me on the kitchen floor the other day with a poorly Chihuahua to clean up after..
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
The new watches at IW - air fryers. They’ve gone from telling us they’ve found one to sell when there are none, to literally bombarding us with the damn things. Different makes, models, types, styles, designs…You have them on Ideal World. Amazing where they get them all from as according to the presenters, you can’t find them elsewhere for love nor money. They just can’t focus on one or two brands only, can they? It always has to be at least 20 plus.. Eeew…now the fat man with the glasses and My Name is Den, aged 90, are showing something they allege is walnut paste that was very similar to what hit me on the kitchen floor the other day with a poorly Chihuahua to clean up after..
Click to expand...
I hopped on the other night and they were flogging an air fryer. It was the 'cook' Joe and a male presenter whose name escapes me. This is how it went ...

Presenter: I want one of these so badly but by the time I go to order, they're always sold out.
Joe: Yeah, they're always popular.

Ok we've discussed this type of exchange many times but I wonder if they realise how thick it makes them look, except to the type of viewer that will believe anything they spout. If the presenter wants a product and genuinely suspects it'll sell out, and if they're genuinely not allowed to have one put aside, they couldn't be asking a relative/friend to order for them?!? Pathetic bit of sales technique.

Also, as you say, air fryers of all types and prices can be bought on Amazon, supermarkets and numerous other retailers. And yet these muppets insist on telling us they're not to be had anywhere.

No wonder I can't stand watching for any longer than 27.6 seconds these days.
 

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