Long ago in a galaxy far far away there lived an evil group of Jedi shopping presenters using the force to take over the minds of the extremely gullible, parting the innocent from their hard-earned cash with tat and all kinds of crap from the far corners of the galaxy......
STARRING:-
PETER SIMON, as the evil emperor, leader of the dark side of shopping, the baron of bullshit. shacked up somewhere with our Betty, sitting on gold plated thrones, admiring each others rings (he he) sending out evil armys of buddahs and worry angels hiding inside magnificent gemstone globes.
CAROLINE LYNDSAY, the evil emperors sidekick, spewing forth her own special brand of bullshit whilst doing that stupid Wallace and Grommit gurning.
JAMES RUSSELL, as the two-faced Darth Vader, Lord of the Tanzanite, Purveyor of Porkys.
STEVE MCDONALD, as Jabba The Hut, his grotesque bloated body being fed 24-7 by slaves from a massive bank of Halogen ovens.
PAUL BEQUE, as the leader of the Jewish Jedi resistance with his faceless advisor Bob, using their sonic jewellery cleaners as hand grenades.
MARK RYES and MARK STEWART as the two horrible little midget Stormtroopers pretending they can cook whilst using their cheap shitty knives with colourfull handles, and selling weapons for far less than they paid for them.
DALLAS, stylishly striding around the Death Star in his delicious velcro Thomas Brooks shoes and Harbour Bay sweatshirt.
CRIS ST.VALERY, starring as the man with the most pretentious made-up cheesy stage name of all time.
FAR MANI, plotting evil from his West Kensington flat with his nephews and his techno-phobe parents.
JAMES GARDNER, recently leaving the 'dark side' after boring millions of people to death with his horrible monotone Scottish drone.
SALLY JAXX, with the really, really, really, really, really, high pitched wail, her face disguised under a two inch thick layer of Elizabeth Arden cheap make-up.
NICOLA GEORGE, from the South-West side after being discovered as the model for the Alien from the Rosswell Incident.
MARINA BERRY, HELEN BATES and GEMMA SMALLTALENT, as the evil trio of Orange wannabe clones using their diabolical fake-tan as a disguise.
This film is a covenent of joy... good luck if you see it!!!
STARRING:-
PETER SIMON, as the evil emperor, leader of the dark side of shopping, the baron of bullshit. shacked up somewhere with our Betty, sitting on gold plated thrones, admiring each others rings (he he) sending out evil armys of buddahs and worry angels hiding inside magnificent gemstone globes.
CAROLINE LYNDSAY, the evil emperors sidekick, spewing forth her own special brand of bullshit whilst doing that stupid Wallace and Grommit gurning.
JAMES RUSSELL, as the two-faced Darth Vader, Lord of the Tanzanite, Purveyor of Porkys.
STEVE MCDONALD, as Jabba The Hut, his grotesque bloated body being fed 24-7 by slaves from a massive bank of Halogen ovens.
PAUL BEQUE, as the leader of the Jewish Jedi resistance with his faceless advisor Bob, using their sonic jewellery cleaners as hand grenades.
MARK RYES and MARK STEWART as the two horrible little midget Stormtroopers pretending they can cook whilst using their cheap shitty knives with colourfull handles, and selling weapons for far less than they paid for them.
DALLAS, stylishly striding around the Death Star in his delicious velcro Thomas Brooks shoes and Harbour Bay sweatshirt.
CRIS ST.VALERY, starring as the man with the most pretentious made-up cheesy stage name of all time.
FAR MANI, plotting evil from his West Kensington flat with his nephews and his techno-phobe parents.
JAMES GARDNER, recently leaving the 'dark side' after boring millions of people to death with his horrible monotone Scottish drone.
SALLY JAXX, with the really, really, really, really, really, high pitched wail, her face disguised under a two inch thick layer of Elizabeth Arden cheap make-up.
NICOLA GEORGE, from the South-West side after being discovered as the model for the Alien from the Rosswell Incident.
MARINA BERRY, HELEN BATES and GEMMA SMALLTALENT, as the evil trio of Orange wannabe clones using their diabolical fake-tan as a disguise.
This film is a covenent of joy... good luck if you see it!!!
