I'm glad to say that I'm no longer in floods of tears for most part of my day, and I'm gradually starting to look forward to things. I am however lacking the ooomph I need to get back into my old routine, cooking from scratch, preparing my meals to eat at home and take to work, big monthly supermarket shop, ironing, that sort of thing. My husband and I don't often eat together as we both do shift work, he's a great cook and does most of the cooking anyway. I've been eating in the works canteen for the past few weeks, but I'm already starting to feel the pinch financially even though I haven't spent any money on groceries this month. I start work at 2.30 this afternoon and after getting up at 9am have done little other than make myself a cup of tea and sit around playing games on facebook. Normally I'd have had breakfast, popped down to the local greengrocer who does amazing daily bargains for 20p, done a bit of housework, sorted out any correspondance - Everything feels like such a huge effort at the moment, and having a stinking cold isn't helping matters along that's for sure.
I haven't heard anymore from any of Dave's friends and acquaintances, only a reply to an email I sent to his old friends thanking them for their part in the funeral - The memorial quiz night is still on but that's not until later in July, I've asked them to stay in touch and I really hope that they do.
One thing I did discover is that the inquest into Dave's death has not yet taken place, I was under the impression that it had and that is why the funeral was allowed to go ahead. I realise now that they only wanted to rule out foul play and the actual cause will not be revealed until the 15th of August, so still a chance that a verdict of suicide could be returned (which would be a devastating blow) especially since it will come just weeks before my son gets married. Guess it'll do me no good to dwell upon it.
With regards to his sister I've been in two minds whether to make a concerted effort to make contact with her. The electoral register is accessible for just a few pounds and I was thinking maybe of dropping her a line to tell her that I've been thinking of her and offering her friendship and support, as she is family. What's stopping me, of course is the knowledge of the drug addiction of both herself and her daughter (who by all accounts is a walking nightmare -and not nice to know). All I could possibly offer is the hand of friendship, advice and a listening ear, support - but nothing financial. I'm just so frightened what consequences would come from taking her into my life. Maybe just a mobile number, she wouldn't have to know my address I guess, but as I say it frightens me and I'm still in two minds. I feel so half hearted, 'cause I know that some people would just take the bull by the horns and physically plough right in there and try and help. It sounds like a feeble excuse but I have no transport other than a pushbike, I work full time and wouldn't want to put any strain on my lovely husband who had major heart surgery a few years ago.
I keep thinking what is she doing with her life, is she working (probably not) is she just laying in bed all day, does she have a partner, how is she getting money for drugs, is she begging on the streets, why didn't she come to her brother's funeral (I'm not judging) but why? She was always a bit of a wild child when I knew her, but she was lovely just like her brother x
I haven't heard anymore from any of Dave's friends and acquaintances, only a reply to an email I sent to his old friends thanking them for their part in the funeral - The memorial quiz night is still on but that's not until later in July, I've asked them to stay in touch and I really hope that they do.
One thing I did discover is that the inquest into Dave's death has not yet taken place, I was under the impression that it had and that is why the funeral was allowed to go ahead. I realise now that they only wanted to rule out foul play and the actual cause will not be revealed until the 15th of August, so still a chance that a verdict of suicide could be returned (which would be a devastating blow) especially since it will come just weeks before my son gets married. Guess it'll do me no good to dwell upon it.
With regards to his sister I've been in two minds whether to make a concerted effort to make contact with her. The electoral register is accessible for just a few pounds and I was thinking maybe of dropping her a line to tell her that I've been thinking of her and offering her friendship and support, as she is family. What's stopping me, of course is the knowledge of the drug addiction of both herself and her daughter (who by all accounts is a walking nightmare -and not nice to know). All I could possibly offer is the hand of friendship, advice and a listening ear, support - but nothing financial. I'm just so frightened what consequences would come from taking her into my life. Maybe just a mobile number, she wouldn't have to know my address I guess, but as I say it frightens me and I'm still in two minds. I feel so half hearted, 'cause I know that some people would just take the bull by the horns and physically plough right in there and try and help. It sounds like a feeble excuse but I have no transport other than a pushbike, I work full time and wouldn't want to put any strain on my lovely husband who had major heart surgery a few years ago.
I keep thinking what is she doing with her life, is she working (probably not) is she just laying in bed all day, does she have a partner, how is she getting money for drugs, is she begging on the streets, why didn't she come to her brother's funeral (I'm not judging) but why? She was always a bit of a wild child when I knew her, but she was lovely just like her brother x