A transcript from one of Guy's sells

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Adam

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Nov 25, 2011
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People say that Guy Kean doesn't really say much useful.. after actually typing this transcript, I'm inclined to agree.

A Stephen Gayford Print

First of all, I want to tell you that this is called portrait, rather than landscape.

Landscape pictures go that way, (he turns the picture round 90 degrees) and portrait pictures go that way (he turns the picture back) as, you know, with famous portraits and we don't do I don't think, that many portrait ones. So if you've had a particular place you wanted to put something.. I dunno, over the bed, over the fireplace, wherever and, you know, landscape hasn't really suited, now's your chance, so that's just a minor point.

Nice guilt frame, and what you have here is a picture of the tiger and this is on canvas. This print is on canvas. And right down here where my finger is, this is by Stephen Gayford. I don't know if you can just see it because it's in black. There you go, that is actually personally signed, that's not a copy of his signature, and he has individually numbered this. I can't see the number on that one, because it's too far away from me.. what is it? 49 of 50.

Now yours may be number 1, maybe number 10, but yours will be the only one in the world with that number. Now, because it's limited edition that means there will never be any more. Now, you cry, well, how do I know that? Well, let me just turn this around. On the back of this picture is, um, the certificate from the art gallery, so that's also handy if you're giving to someone else, you have to go (in a funny, nasal voice) "Oh, it's limited, you know, it's very expensive." So here's the certificate from the art gallery, and even actually, and um, stuff about the picture. And down there, down there, is um, a picture of, um, Stephen painting the original picture.

Now let me turn this round again, I've only got two of these, now. What the, and this is called "the shade", and in fact, there's the plaque it's erm, you know, telling you what it is. Um, please don't call, In the Shade, there will be no more of these made.

Now, in art galleries, card shops, wherever they do prints and things, not on canvas usually, everything else, um, ah, now, you wouldn't be, you wouldn't, you know, did you see that some Picasso the other day sold for billions? I mean this isn't a Picasso but you know, £500 in an art gallery for paintings is not unusual. However, under £300, under £150, there are just two of them. Now I must be very clear here, I don't have to sell either of them. Nice, if you want them, that's fine, I'm just trying to offer you a terrific deal, so down to a, below £150 plus your postage and packaging. Just two. Are you ready? I'm going to open the lines. 3-2-1 go.

That watch is coming up very soon. Like I said, I've got some really high end posh stuff today. Not only in this part, but I'm back again at 11 o'clock, we're doing the new thing where we're here and gone and back.

0904 251 2000

So, quite frankly, today's the day.

1 left, there's only one of these left, so well done if you, WILLIAM! WELL DONE!

1 left, look at that 0904, rawrr, that was me, by the way, that wasn't the picture. Shere Khan and all that, 0904 251 2000. I mean anything, even if it was a Picasso, quite frankly, I wouldn't want a Picasso, I don't like them. The number 1 fundamental thing is that you have to like the piece, and, you know, all that Attenborough.

Oh, it's gone. I was in the middle of an interesting story then, coming in buying things. What's your game?



Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching Guy, but he doesn't seem to describe the products too well.
 
Guy's all over the place. He also seems obsessed with saying things are 'posh' - I can remember him once in an auction saying "we don't want any common people buying this! If you're common don't ring". I'm sure he means it as a joke, but it's a pretty odd thing to say.

Also - comparing a Gayford to a Picasso- haha
 
Wow. Just wow. They actually pay him to come up with this rubbish!
 

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