100 Things I Have learned from QVC..

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alan6012

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Dec 2, 2008
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11
(1) A powdered yogurt substitute is better tasting than real yougurt.

(2) A piece of glass will fool even an international diamond thief once it is housed in a precious metal.

(3) Anytime you buy an item with more than one piece it is essential that you split it so you can gift it later on.

(4) Every home has a gift drawer for when a caller pops by and a gift is needed immediately.

(5) It is imperitive to start your christmas shopping in July as you just wont have the time to do it over the next 5 months.

(6) A Kipling bag is actually not a bag rather its an investment.

(7) Kim & Co clothing is always in season , on trend , classic and timeless and will suit all women of all ages and all sizes.

(8) A dress in a size 8 will look the exact same on the woman buying the quadruple xl size.

(9) A shower gel will transport you to the beaches of tahiti.

(10) A "feather bed" is actually a thing.Its not just sleeping on a glorified duvet.


over to you....... :mysmilie_17:
 
Last edited:
Thank you for the fab thread and list, alan6012, esp items (1) (talking about Greek yoghurt, have they ever tasted any) and (10).

1. Buying 9ct jewels at extortionate prices is an investment (is it in gold?)
2. Many of gem names come from Greek or Latin words, which no one with the linguistic knowledge can identify.
 
hee hee...yes good thread.
2. what a waste of a little bit of gold [ the silver with the rhodium is good for money ]
5 drives me mad [ doesnt take much though ]
6 .love them for casual
7 kims quality has taken a nose dive....[ if it was ever there 1st place ]
8 im a BIG lady BUT im not 6' 6" why do designers think if we go wider we also go taller
9 glad shes gone but not MB
10. sorry i can not live without mine [ yes im sure id survive BUT love it ]
these are my opinions & sorry for kim & co wearers as i know there are a lot of you
 
1. Every home has a guest bathroom, filled with L'Occitane soaps:mysmilie_17:
 
2. All teachers need end of term presents that cost at least £15:mysmilie_73:
 
1. Size 14\16 is "small"

2. Animal print is "in" and will always be "in"

3. Ditto purple


4. Jeans and a white T shirt will take you anywhere when accessorised with a bit of dimonique
 
1)Even though I am short with quite a chest (not unlike a certain presenter) I can always wear a size small
2) At the end of year, teachers expect no less than a full set of NN bedding
3) That I will always be 'on trend' as long as I have a white T shirt, a trouser and a little pump
4) my life will be enriched by the acquisition of a Thomas"painter of light" Kinkade picture and will continue to draw inspiration from it with every breath I take
5)My pleasingly plump face can be given the wind-tunnel look by the application of an expensive cream peddled by a surgically-enhanced old songstress
6) By eating micro-portions of expensive sachet food, I will
turn into a micro-portion of my former self
7)I don't actually need a degree in mathematics to work out that I am being conned
 
1) Every beauty & skincare product they sell, is the best you can get.
2) Alison Young has a crush on Cheryl Cole.
3) Jilly Halliday tells us that every pair of earrings are 'well worth going for', but how the hell does she know? Her ears are not pierced!!
4) Julia Roberts has a magic mirror, which makes her think she is a lot thinner than she actually is.
5) Lulu no longer denies using Botox, They just don't bring the subject up anymore.
6) Jill Franks is morphing into Skeletor from the He-man Cartoons.
7) The cast of Desperate Housewives are Charlie Lapsons only A-List clients.
8) Charlie Brook gets more annoying week on week.
9) Claudia is pronounced 'Clowdia' when you work for QVC.
10) My life will be improved sleeping on feathers.
11) Stroking bedding should not be done on TV. Not a good look at all.
12) Anne Dawson proves that there is life after 70. (But not good teeth).
 
1) If you are getting engaged then Diamonique will be a believable, money saving option for us plebs. It's not good enough for the presenters though, who invariably have real diamonds.
 
My Son,Daughter, Husband , Friend, Cat who is going to university will not survive unless I purchase an illuminated musical bikini line waxer/plucker/freezer/incinerator IMMEDIATLEY
 
Whether I can afford it or not, I should treat myself to a piece of overpriced tat when watching QVC because I'm worth it. :mysmilie_82:

When you pay on Easypay, really you are just paying the first payment and P&P because by the time next month comes around you'll have forgotten all about it. :mysmilie_81:
 
I have done really well when I make a purchase and am to be congratulated on doing so if I manage to buy it before it sells out even though it will be back in stock in 2 weeks and probably on easy pay.
 
I've learned that:

1. Martha Stewart obviously owns a glitter factory (judging by the number of glitter items on sale in her hours today)
2. Other people (not me) must have window sills on a scale similar to a stately home, sufficient to house 250 busy lizzy plug plants for 3 months before they can be planted in the garden
3. I'm a failure because I have not yet finished making my cards for Christmas 2010.
4. I need to get a bigger cupboard so I can "stockpile" and therefore save more money than I spend
5. Dawn Bibby is a whingeing pom
 
1. everything bigger then 5 cm across is a statement piece in jewellery
2. Everything, ... everything is an investment, from handbag to jewellery and including a kitchen knife
3. putting any old pendant on a new chain gives it a whole new look and makes it look new and on trend
4. putting a new pendant on any old chain gives it a whole new look and makes it new and on trend
5. Jilly needs a haircut
 
Slim and lift pants will make flab magically disappear and are the ideal undergarment for catheter wearing mobility scooter riding elderly people(according to 1 viewer)
wearing over embellished bright coloured clingy attire, will make me greet other wearers with a quacK!
My lady garden can be transformed by a lady called "Betty"
My daughter needs a 42" TV for university
Jennifer Kirk is a very wealthy faerie godmother..with a very srange obsession with glitter and ugly moon faces
Jill franks and Marjolene somebody are the worst adverts for excercise I have EVER seen!!
 
1.) That a whisp of chiffon and polyester created with love by overworked people in a foreign sweatshop is high fashion.
2.) That a size XS is in reality a size 12-14 and not a size 8.
3.)That my actual skin on my actual face area needs different treatment to my actual skin on my actual eye area, literally.
4.) That I 'amgunnalovethisitssuperb' on just about every item they sell.
5.) That no matter how much you dress it up/dress it down most of the fashion on said channel is diaboloical beyond belief.
6.) It doesn't matter how much fairy dust you blow in the direction of the camera, Jenniieieieieieiiifer Kirk, your jewellery is still poo with knobs on. Blowing glitter over it, does not improve it one iota.
7.) That I do not have a 'Guest Room' to prepare for anyone. And if I did, I would not fill it full of feather beds, matress protectors, throws, shams and slankets. I would do what every other person in this country does with their spare room. Use it to store cardboard boxes full of carp and bits from an old motorbike.
8.) That QVC's ethics are dodgier than a dodgy thing on a dodgem ride at the world's dodgiest funfair. Esp where Barsteward Basso is concerned
9.) That Martha Stewart is a reknowned mother, home-maker, tv star - but conveniently not a tax evading jailbird. Ditto Saint Cheryl Cole who is a naturally talented beauty and not a thug with acrylic nails and hair extensions.
10.) That if I don't jump to the phones or use Q-Cut and miss out on that vital face cream/gold ring/powdered yoghurt/drill bit set that my life will not be complete and I will spend the rest of my years regretting it and rueing the day I didn't dial in.
 

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