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Apparently, she had a drunken snog with the ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer, Phillip Hammond. Who knew?!

"Lying scrote". The top and tail of it - the alpha and omega. No other description could sum it up better, really. Exactly right.

Completely agree about Samantha Ovens - she concentrates on the matter in hand, but isn't chilly and distant like 'Mrs Stylist' Emma Gordon and their ilk. She seems warm, genuinely interested in the clothes and is always well prepared. She even copes admirably with the irritating stupidity...

Poor old Dawbags! I have a bit of a soft spot for her, really. I agree that the frock wasn't really doing her any favours, though.

Not every day you hear that on the forum :LOL:

'Todger'. A brilliant and sadly underused word.

Medication for AHD is in short supply.

If Pedro is Julian, who is Sandy?

If you put Gollum on a site, he'd be clueless. He'd probably pick something up and either break a nail and have to go back to the van to file it, or put his back out. He's not done an honest day's work in his life.

I think Anouska is actually a bit of a wannabe. I don't buy that 'North London Banker's Wife' routine she's got going. Her accent also slips every now and again - almost imperceptibly, but it still does. She might not want you to know it, but she pops into Asda to get a bag of Doritoes so she...

Exactly - cue Foghorn talking about 'ooh, this is just like that other really famous bag, you know, then one with two letters of the alphabet combined' and various other creative inventions to try to suggest some sort of equivalence between a Gucci bag and a £9.99 made-in-China bit of tat.

I think you meant all genders. The IQBE will have your guts for garters.

He's done that thing where he's had so much surgery that he has an indeterminate age - and looks like some AI version of himself as a consequence. How old would you say he looks there? Obviously not 20s, and not 30s either. It would be flattery to suggest he was still in his 40s, but a...

I prefer the classic 2+1 dualit toaster because it's one of the few which allows you to toast a slngle slice properly.

It seems like they only have airtime for Elemis now.

A splatted hard-boiled egg.

eugh, he's handling pants now... He doesn't even know what to call them - 'jockey shorts', shorts... no idea. He's running out of things to say very quickly. As with everything recently, there is no stock, and a dispatch date a week hence.

'Princess Chuntley' is the same as 'Duchess Meghan' for me. They share similar characteristics.

I don't mind Glen, either. I struggle with 'a little trouser', and I'm particularly not liking 'a little sneaker' which seems to have entirely replaced 'trainers' for him. I literally know not a single British person who'd use the word 'sneaker', so I can't understand why Glen does. Perhaps...

She's like a rash, that Alison Hammond. Why she has to be so manic and over-the-top all the time I just don't know. I find her competely exhausting.