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I'm going to guess the world famous celebs wearing Duchump are Jeremy Edwards and Pedro 'damp hovel' Simon. Just a hunch.

They're running Vostok trails, so looks like we'll get Kevski and Dirty Pinocchio Pedro tonight. What about all the claims that "it's Duchump all the famous celebrities wear. Duchump are the ultimate in luxury timepieces, not only because they are hand assembled, but they are Swiss." 'John...

Well gang, Dirty Peter is back on Sunday evening - wonder if he goes back to the draughty hovel or spends the night in the damp, cold digs? Anyway, hope this Opatra battleaxe is on. Will be worth hearing this nonsense about lighty-up brushes and masks if she gives him what-for

According to Dirty Pedro - only 58 of the Molton Brown left! :rolleyes: They must think these random numbers sound more convincing. Let's see. He's buying one - of course he is. "Chris" is getting him the 'hand set" And yes, he has thanked Melting Brown and all concerned :ROFLMAO:

Possibly Of-the-Masons is unloading it off the back of a lorry - luvverly jubbly fellas. This looks just like an Arthur Daley deal

Dirty Peter - who's wearing a jumper that looks like it belongs in the 1930s - is waiting for confirmation they can do Melting Broon in the next 20 minutes. A new twist on claptrap about Igor, John-Paul, Chrissy giving them permission to sell. Who will it be? Caroline and Michael, the founds of...

He's back to their usual tat - Gold Leopard bog water inspired by contents of a Gucci lavvy bowl

They obviously think they've hit gold with this Molton Brown deal. They have Mr Belt Buckle droning on about it - mostly the usual tosh about checking out baskets, someone else might pay and it will vanish from your basket if it's a sell out. That came after him saying there was plenty of stock...

They're not going to do this Raidillon Duchump again this side of Christmas, says Dirty Pedro. Thanks heavens for that - this dirge "not only with your shirts, your jeans, worn by some of the most famous people, go and ave a buy". I can just see a millionaire movie star being egged on by their...

Usual Duchump tripe from Dirty Peter. "This is nearly two thousand POUND of watch, You are saving fifteen hundred POUND. "If you like it, buy it, alright. "You must put it on your household insurance". Yet another tribute to "John-Paul and the team". David, Christopher, Muriel and Alan all...

Emu Balm - "We thought we'd sold them all out. We only have 80 left." Yes, often happens - do we need bog roll?, yeah, we're out of it. Oh hang on, we've 80 rolls in the cupboard.

What!!! Emu Balm!!! But Dirty Peter told us it was sold out. We wouldn't be seeing it again! Have the buyers worked their magic again and begged for more stock? :rolleyes:

More 1970's 'geezer' chat - claiming Trevor texted to say he got a watch "on the side, hidden from THE wife". Luverrrly, nice one mate (y). Off-the-Masons must be smelling luverrrly after wearing that 100% polyester top - the one they billed as cotton - for four hours under studio lights

This Trenton could be entering Of-the-Masons collection! "It's stunning," he says "absolutely stunning". Yes, I'm stunned there are enough mugs out there who pay real money for these awful watches. And what's this about, "Dave has one in his basket.....good luck". What's the luck? His...

Brilliant - Torchy shoots himself in the foot as he goes on flogging that projector. "Get this home and eh, I think I'm right, what's the returns policy? "Ok, right if you open it that will invalidate the return option" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Janis trying to demonstrate the projector and it looks like fuzzy ghosts on a wall :ROFLMAO: "I want you to think about making memories with your family". Good one - "remember the time dad wasted 70 quid on that awful projecter when we had a perfectly good flat screen telly. Aaaah, he really...

Yes, Dirty Pedro's stories change to suit the product. He goes from buying expensive watches to huddling under blankets in his draughty, damp hovel. It's like piecing together clues to get a small segment of the truth. His collagen tripe about the surgeon praising his skin tells us, as we all...

Pretty sure early 70s. He said one time he was older than a texter who was 69 but, as pointed out, if he says it's Sunday you check the calendar

Dirty Peter is over 70 - with a CV that shows he was last on mainstream TV, in a minor way, 40 years ago. He has nowhere to go. The idea another channel will hire him to do his Larry Grayson act is laughable - unlike most of his filthy patter

A double dose of Mike Of-the-Masons today - 10 am and 6pm! Surely that's too much, even for Muriel and Violet. He would struggle to even get a commission-only sales job now. Even car showrooms and furniture shops have tumbled that most people prefer the soft sell.