Random musings and general banter.

ShoppingTelly

Help Support ShoppingTelly:

1727679087900.jpeg

Mike Mason

1727679215111.jpeg

Erik ten Hag

Anyone notice the resemblance?
 
Erik Ten Hag and Sean Dyche would make good IW Presenters. Sean could have his first show with Sally. You have to read it how Sean Speaks

Shaun, So Sally you say your from Burnley yeah
Sally. Yeah Shaun that’s right
Shaun. Yeah well By how you speak, I think I’ve Spent more time in Burnley than you have, Plus I’ve a Pub named after me
 
galesgal57 said:
Look out for Captain Birdseye and his haddock. 🤣🤣
Click to expand...
I'm a bit concerned actually. Apparently the ship has staff shortages and they've had to hire new people at short notice. The've hired Sally Jacks who is doing her Jane McDonald tribute act in the theatre, doing fashion shows with a woman called Genevive and in poor weather will be the foghorn.

The entertainments manager will be Paul Berk, organising fun activities and keeping morale up with his zany personality and famous 'whoop whoop' catchphrase.

Someone called Mike 'Cockney Geezer' Mason will be presenting his sophisticated Rat Pack tribute show, singing all 3 voices at the same time cos he feels the music unlike us plebs who just hear it. He will also be working in the bar, giving us laydeez a demo of his cocktail making expertise.

The real star will be the 97 year old nearly living legend Peter 'Pedro' Simon. He will be entertaining us about his illustrious career and he many celeb he counts as personal friends. Speaking about his days as agent for Sooty and Sweep, we may hear about the wild showbiz parties where Basil Brush got a bit merry one night on sweet sherry and tried to proposition Emu (that ended badly...). Sadly he can't tell his story about The Clangers as there is still an injunction preventing it from being told.

Apparently they've hired a new catering crew, no details yet but they've bought a job lot of air fryers from a well loved shopping channel. And they assure us that the fire extinguishers work well.

They've got someone called Charlie who will write our 5 star reviews for us, that will save some time. And also a chap called Torchy telling bedtime stories in a boring voice making sure we fall asleep within 10 minutes.

I'm assured that these people are all mega celebs in the UK and that we can have a photo with them for £500🤔.

Actually, I think I'll go to Southend for a week instead!
 
Muttley said:
I'm a bit concerned actually. Apparently the ship has staff shortages and they've had to hire new people at short notice. The've hired Sally Jacks who is doing her Jane McDonald tribute act in the theatre, doing fashion shows with a woman called Genevive and in poor weather will be the foghorn.

The entertainments manager will be Paul Berk, organising fun activities and keeping morale up with his zany personality and famous 'whoop whoop' catchphrase.

Someone called Mike 'Cockney Geezer' Mason will be presenting his sophisticated Rat Pack tribute show, singing all 3 voices at the same time cos he feels the music unlike us plebs who just hear it. He will also be working in the bar, giving us laydeez a demo of his cocktail making expertise.

The real star will be the 97 year old nearly living legend Peter 'Pedro' Simon. He will be entertaining us about his illustrious career and he many celeb he counts as personal friends. Speaking about his days as agent for Sooty and Sweep, we may hear about the wild showbiz parties where Basil Brush got a bit merry one night on sweet sherry and tried to proposition Emu (that ended badly...). Sadly he can't tell his story about The Clangers as there is still an injunction preventing it from being told.

Apparently they've hired a new catering crew, no details yet but they've bought a job lot of air fryers from a well loved shopping channel. And they assure us that the fire extinguishers work well.

They've got someone called Charlie who will write our 5 star reviews for us, that will save some time. And also a chap called Torchy telling bedtime stories in a boring voice making sure we fall asleep within 10 minutes.

I'm assured that these people are all mega celebs in the UK and that we can have a photo with them for £500🤔.

Actually, I think I'll go to Southend for a week instead!
Click to expand...
Will Muriel and her family be on board to give shopping tips 😳
Also the beauty “expert” could double up as emergency lighting if there is a power cut 🤣
 
I have finally found a new resting place for my wonderful Simon Peters figure that was purchased for me as a gift from hell by my partner as a surprise...I think next to the toilet roll, the bog itself, and in much needed reach of the air freshener, he has found spiritual and emotional sanctuary, in my lavatory. Must also get that flusher button fixed...

PXL_20240930_082331017.LONG_EXPOSURE-01.COVER~2.jpg
 
Hammy60 said:
Was just watching Rate my Takeaway, Danny was at the Anstruther chipper in Fife a week or so ago, and he's bewildered why there is no gravy on the menu of a chipper. :ROFLMAO:

At about 8.40

Click to expand...
It was good to see him up this way. tbh we never went to Anstruther much, the small fish & chip shop in Pittenweem was our preference, just a very basic old school place. Alas no longer there, literally! It burnt down and the owner has since passed away :(
 
Samki said:
Will Muriel and her family be on board to give shopping tips 😳
Also the beauty “expert” could double up as emergency lighting if there is a power cut 🤣
Click to expand...
They may give a presentation of the 10,000 things they. bought last month, explaining why the cheapo, unbranded, plastic handbags are better quality than Mulberry.

And I forgot about the 'beauty expert', yes she will also be selling those Opatra machines that will turn me into Taylor Swift overnight😜
 
galesgal57 said:
Torchy just mentioned Hammy, saying people that own Rolex, Tag etc say they prefer Duchump! 🤣🤣
Click to expand...

He's a ******* clueless *****.

Yeah can just see the owner of a Rolex Daytona (100% made in-house at Rolex's Swiss facilities) going hey this Duchump Grand Mont (Far East assembled Chinese parts by a 3rd party watchmaker, with a Swiss Ronda £40 movemet) is way better and worth every penny of £1800. :ROFLMAO:
 
Muttley said:
I'm a bit concerned actually. Apparently the ship has staff shortages and they've had to hire new people at short notice. The've hired Sally Jacks who is doing her Jane McDonald tribute act in the theatre, doing fashion shows with a woman called Genevive and in poor weather will be the foghorn.

The entertainments manager will be Paul Berk, organising fun activities and keeping morale up with his zany personality and famous 'whoop whoop' catchphrase.

Someone called Mike 'Cockney Geezer' Mason will be presenting his sophisticated Rat Pack tribute show, singing all 3 voices at the same time cos he feels the music unlike us plebs who just hear it. He will also be working in the bar, giving us laydeez a demo of his cocktail making expertise.

The real star will be the 97 year old nearly living legend Peter 'Pedro' Simon. He will be entertaining us about his illustrious career and he many celeb he counts as personal friends. Speaking about his days as agent for Sooty and Sweep, we may hear about the wild showbiz parties where Basil Brush got a bit merry one night on sweet sherry and tried to proposition Emu (that ended badly...). Sadly he can't tell his story about The Clangers as there is still an injunction preventing it from being told.

Apparently they've hired a new catering crew, no details yet but they've bought a job lot of air fryers from a well loved shopping channel. And they assure us that the fire extinguishers work well.

They've got someone called Charlie who will write our 5 star reviews for us, that will save some time. And also a chap called Torchy telling bedtime stories in a boring voice making sure we fall asleep within 10 minutes.

I'm assured that these people are all mega celebs in the UK and that we can have a photo with them for £500🤔.

Actually, I think I'll go to Southend for a week instead!
Click to expand...

Visit teh duty free shop, Aviator watches at source.
 

Similar threads

H
Random musings and general banter.
74 75 76
Replies
1,513
Views
91,724
rubia
R
P
Merely incompetent or outright lying? You decide...
Replies
15
Views
7,692
Wirral70
W
B
Tales Of Chiswick: Chapter 1. New Beginnings
2
Replies
23
Views
4,582
Weathergirl
Weathergirl
Frazzled
TSV Halloween night - trick or treat!
Replies
17
Views
3,918
Loveinamist
Loveinamist
S
  • Locked
Many Thanks for your comments
Replies
0
Views
2,942
Steve Bennett
S

Latest posts

Back
Top